Najois

The devil placed a cup in front of me, left me with a distressing choice. Should I drink it or will I accept to let it be?

Many years ago I had left my hometown to discover the vast land. I had my reasons and felt I could only prosper through the pilgrim’s life path. I had seen the desert, the valleys and the riches of the Earth. My pilgrimage made me climb the highest mountains and swim the deepest seas. Never had it occurred to me that I could feel thirst or hunger. I also never stopped anywhere to rest.  I thought I was freed from many needs and desires. My needs weren’t attached to me anymore. I felt so strong and invigorated.

On another bland day, I decided to walk up South early in the morning. As I progressed, nothing in particular crossed my path, I mean, I was crossing a desert after all. The desert started to transform into planes of green patches scattered across the landscape. The air became less dry and was pleasant to breathe. I was nearing a seemingly desolate town in the middle of this hinterland and decided to enter this town and explore it before midday. Not before long I arrived at an empty courtyard. The only object was a large square table left in a corner. I walked up to the table and sat down in the middle of the table, as it would give me a comfortable setting to reflect. Not to long after that, I heard footstep behind me. As my mind was at ease, I decided to calmly wait until these footsteps would approach me. A man walked up to the table and placed himself in front of me. I looked up, but couldn’t see his face clearly. He held a cup in his hand. A full cup he placed right in front of me and started to talk.

“Dear pilgrim, your clothes look worn out and your skin is marked with experience. It looks like you have seen it all. Your shoes show the marks of the many miles you have traveled. You’re a human being, so you must be thirsty. I would like to welcome you into this town and accommodate your cravings. This cup is filled with your deepest desires. It contains the desire to belong, to attach that heart of yours to someone and show its kindness. The desire to be needed, wanted and adored. All of this is right here in front of you.”

Now, would I have ever expected this proposal, in this godforsaken town? I saw what was happening, but wasn’t sure of how it could’ve happened. I had left my own town to detach myself. Many people had crossed my path, but none could’ve brought me back to where I came from. Did I actually belong somewhere in the end? Feverishly trying to make sense I started to lose my composure, yet I knew exactly what was happening, at that moment I looked down next to my foot and saw a puddle of water. I put my foot to stir up the water. And the water became unclear from then on and I couldn’t see my reflection anymore.

I had finally come across the devil and he offered my heart’s desire, the object of my deepest yearning and my darkest nightmares. What was I looking for? What had I been looking for? Had I not become a pilgrim to seek for truth and detachment or was I simply running away from my throne?

My mind started fighting my heart. My heart was fighting my impulses. And my impulses were fighting my fears. I clutched my fingers into my palm and made a shaking fist.

The cup in front of me started to emanate such a sweet scent. I suddenly started to feel this powerful thirst, longing to quench my itching. For the first time in a long time, I felt desire taking over my body and making its way into my head.

The man interrupted my inner combat and whispered firmly:” I am offering you this poison, it will quench your thirst, but you will need it regularly and in the long run you will become addicted and it will have a severe impact on your body. Recovering will take an eternity. Now, will you drink it?”

No poison on Earth had ever smelled so sweet and tempting. I repeated his words in my head:” Will you drink it?”